I hate showers. It’s not the actual shower but the post shower naked skin on skin feeling I hate! I cant be arsed drying myself (because if I inspect my body too much I spiral!) so I end up trying to twist and tug clothes on a very damp body.
I have found that if I just get undressed. Usually if I go to the loo or brush my teeth I’ll just strip off and then be like “right, naked now. Might as well just go in” still that’s after days of avoiding!
yes! it is the horrible cold damp beads of wet on your skin feeling in the winter... shivering and looking for a horrible rough towel with water dripping everywhere and getting your damp foot tangled in your knickers. I'd much rather stay in my pyjamas.
I just learned to actually not hate myself anymore last year. But I also have "forgotten" to take my meds for the last... uh .. several months so did I really?
Thanks for the reminder. I appreciate your candor. ❤️
PS Things that may have started with reasons form habits which form neural pathways which form patterns. Reasons could be totally gone and leave mad brain patterns in their wake. ❤️
It is now 6.20pm, I have been having the "shower yourself you minger" convo with myself since 8am this morning............ I am also in the same scummy fleece top & enormous bottoms which I also wore yesterday.............. when I also had this convo going (really gross truth here, no knickers were worm either day....I know, I'm disgusted too, or at least I would be if I cared enough).........FML!
oh i will wear the absolute shite out of my disgusting house clothes. I'll wear them till they are basically crawling off me and trying to put themselves in the wash.
Sophie I am in the tricking myself into showering club. I just bought a shower speaker to see if that helps (slightly?) You’re not alone in this. I know it actually only takes 5 minutes but finding the motivation is killer.
Oh my god thank you for saying this, it makes me feel so much more normal. A friend actually gave me a shower speaker as a gift and i did use it a few times must get it back out thanks for reminding me
Sophie, this is brilliant. I am currently sitting on the living room floor in peak Australian summer with four day old hair, procrastinating hard from work, and viscerally aware of my pong - you’re not alone!
New yrs resolution:smell better... solution:perfume! Avoid that shower yet another day..🙈🙈that unworthiness of my body to be clean and fresh and pink after I attempt to peel a layer of skin with the temperature of the water.
Or... and hear me out... are the huggers why you resist the showers? Stay stinky, stay separate. (I was supposed to shower over 24 hours ago and then I told myself I would have a treat of a bath instead tonight and use the new lavender stuff but actually then I put on my stink pjs and said nah, fuck it. Tomorrow I will shower though for real)
I avoid a lot of self care too, mostly because I don’t think I deserve it. Showering is another thing I put on the long finger I don’t know why I find it such an insurmountable task. I have a shower avoiding buddy too and we cheer each other on when the task is final tackled. I found having a ‘small shower’ aka a sink shower helps me to not feel like a humongous sentient trash pile. As for brushing my teeth... getting a night guard forced me to actually brush my teeth at night. Before that, brushing my teeth at night was a rare occurrence. Extensive dental care and emergency dental surgery last year made me appreciate my teeth (pity it took months of misery to figure that out) Now dental hygiene is actually something I enjoy which makes me feel dirty just saying it 😆 Now all I need is translate that into showering?! I’ll get there eventually I hope.
so I definitely know we don't all struggle with the showering. My husband gets up and showers every day without complaint, but I'd say an aversion to washing is much more common than you think. I HATE to shower and like to tell myself that I am just not a naturally sweaty person. The lies... (But I don't have the same problem with baths. I'd literally fill a basin with two inches of hot water and step into and wash before I'd stand under a stream of water?? meh.) I think the shower speaker sounds like a great idea.
Sophie, what a gem of a piece! Thank you! I feel less like a freak reading this and I needed that today.
My bipolar brain lets me shower ( unless I’m in a depressive crisis, then all bets are off, obvs) but instead I have this thing with my phone where sometimes I can’t pick up or message anyone back at all. We’re talking weeks of avoided messages and calls from some of my dearest and nearest people. Interestingly I can usually still manage to see people in person fine, it’s the phone that triggers me. WHY? I have no fucking idea. Maybe it’s self loathing and self sabotage? Maybe it’s that good old impaired functioning in my brain? Either way I’ll keep on keeping on and ( try) to shower and pick up the phone. One day at a time.
Regarding the meds-taking, you just described my past 2 weeks. 😭 Half-accidently forgot (wanted to forget?) my anti-psychotic for a week, using "I can just take it tomorrow cuz it doesn't give me those terrible immediate withdrawals like the other one!" as an excuse, felt high for 3 days straight, then crashed like HELL and had to get help 😍 I know a lot of people stop their meds but hearing your story helped me feel less alone so thank you for sharing. I also have a very similar resolution now to take my meds *for the people around me* cuz they're the ones who will have to deal with me going bonkers. Thanks again 🖤🖤🖤
Showering is fucking boring! Have also been told 'it's time for a shower' my my husband. Sometimes he offers to run me a bath which is sweet (and also self beneficial for him). But then I get trapped in the bath for hours because getting out and getting dry is such a palaver. He also has to tell me to take my meds every night to which I mostly reply 'euugh leave me alone' rather than 'thank you for reminding me'.
Creep Dive is my go to shower motivator with my waterproof speaker btw!
Okay, I have a LOT to say about this (surprise), but I will just say the main thing - when your friend asked you and you couldn't come up with an answer? You already had it, it is because it IS such a HUGE palaver! Total! Faff! Executive dysfunction gals unite <3
Unsolicited advice part 1: Book a wax so you have to shower first (maybe a bit extreme?)
Unsolicited advice part 2: Just have the small shower (iykyk) x
I hate showers. It’s not the actual shower but the post shower naked skin on skin feeling I hate! I cant be arsed drying myself (because if I inspect my body too much I spiral!) so I end up trying to twist and tug clothes on a very damp body.
I have found that if I just get undressed. Usually if I go to the loo or brush my teeth I’ll just strip off and then be like “right, naked now. Might as well just go in” still that’s after days of avoiding!
Ah thank you so much for sharing this. It really helps me feel more normal. I definitely relate with how it triggers focusing on my body.
yes! it is the horrible cold damp beads of wet on your skin feeling in the winter... shivering and looking for a horrible rough towel with water dripping everywhere and getting your damp foot tangled in your knickers. I'd much rather stay in my pyjamas.
I just learned to actually not hate myself anymore last year. But I also have "forgotten" to take my meds for the last... uh .. several months so did I really?
Thanks for the reminder. I appreciate your candor. ❤️
Progress not perfection! But also take your meds if you need them xxx
PS Things that may have started with reasons form habits which form neural pathways which form patterns. Reasons could be totally gone and leave mad brain patterns in their wake. ❤️
This is SO INTERESTING. Makes so much sense
For me it’s (partly) the “if I shower then I will have to dry my hair” problem. If I can not dry my hair, the odds of my washing greatly improve.
So much yes to this. If it just self dried
It is now 6.20pm, I have been having the "shower yourself you minger" convo with myself since 8am this morning............ I am also in the same scummy fleece top & enormous bottoms which I also wore yesterday.............. when I also had this convo going (really gross truth here, no knickers were worm either day....I know, I'm disgusted too, or at least I would be if I cared enough).........FML!
oh i will wear the absolute shite out of my disgusting house clothes. I'll wear them till they are basically crawling off me and trying to put themselves in the wash.
Sophie I am in the tricking myself into showering club. I just bought a shower speaker to see if that helps (slightly?) You’re not alone in this. I know it actually only takes 5 minutes but finding the motivation is killer.
Oh my god thank you for saying this, it makes me feel so much more normal. A friend actually gave me a shower speaker as a gift and i did use it a few times must get it back out thanks for reminding me
Love "self giving a shit". I also don't have a lovely for showering especially on hair washing days!
the amount of amazing people here sharing their own struggles with this is so so comforting. We're not freaks at least !
Sophie, this is brilliant. I am currently sitting on the living room floor in peak Australian summer with four day old hair, procrastinating hard from work, and viscerally aware of my pong - you’re not alone!
You 👏can👏do👏this👏 (I have still not done it 😅)
New yrs resolution:smell better... solution:perfume! Avoid that shower yet another day..🙈🙈that unworthiness of my body to be clean and fresh and pink after I attempt to peel a layer of skin with the temperature of the water.
lol i lean HEAVILY into the perfume. I think this shower thing is also why i really try to resist huggers when they go in for the kill ;)))
Or... and hear me out... are the huggers why you resist the showers? Stay stinky, stay separate. (I was supposed to shower over 24 hours ago and then I told myself I would have a treat of a bath instead tonight and use the new lavender stuff but actually then I put on my stink pjs and said nah, fuck it. Tomorrow I will shower though for real)
Hahhahaah the stink pyjamas 🤣🤣🤣 keep us posted. We should all check back in on this thread if we actually do have a shower
Hello. Quick question. Did I write this?
I avoid a lot of self care too, mostly because I don’t think I deserve it. Showering is another thing I put on the long finger I don’t know why I find it such an insurmountable task. I have a shower avoiding buddy too and we cheer each other on when the task is final tackled. I found having a ‘small shower’ aka a sink shower helps me to not feel like a humongous sentient trash pile. As for brushing my teeth... getting a night guard forced me to actually brush my teeth at night. Before that, brushing my teeth at night was a rare occurrence. Extensive dental care and emergency dental surgery last year made me appreciate my teeth (pity it took months of misery to figure that out) Now dental hygiene is actually something I enjoy which makes me feel dirty just saying it 😆 Now all I need is translate that into showering?! I’ll get there eventually I hope.
so I definitely know we don't all struggle with the showering. My husband gets up and showers every day without complaint, but I'd say an aversion to washing is much more common than you think. I HATE to shower and like to tell myself that I am just not a naturally sweaty person. The lies... (But I don't have the same problem with baths. I'd literally fill a basin with two inches of hot water and step into and wash before I'd stand under a stream of water?? meh.) I think the shower speaker sounds like a great idea.
Sophie, what a gem of a piece! Thank you! I feel less like a freak reading this and I needed that today.
My bipolar brain lets me shower ( unless I’m in a depressive crisis, then all bets are off, obvs) but instead I have this thing with my phone where sometimes I can’t pick up or message anyone back at all. We’re talking weeks of avoided messages and calls from some of my dearest and nearest people. Interestingly I can usually still manage to see people in person fine, it’s the phone that triggers me. WHY? I have no fucking idea. Maybe it’s self loathing and self sabotage? Maybe it’s that good old impaired functioning in my brain? Either way I’ll keep on keeping on and ( try) to shower and pick up the phone. One day at a time.
Regarding the meds-taking, you just described my past 2 weeks. 😭 Half-accidently forgot (wanted to forget?) my anti-psychotic for a week, using "I can just take it tomorrow cuz it doesn't give me those terrible immediate withdrawals like the other one!" as an excuse, felt high for 3 days straight, then crashed like HELL and had to get help 😍 I know a lot of people stop their meds but hearing your story helped me feel less alone so thank you for sharing. I also have a very similar resolution now to take my meds *for the people around me* cuz they're the ones who will have to deal with me going bonkers. Thanks again 🖤🖤🖤
Showering is fucking boring! Have also been told 'it's time for a shower' my my husband. Sometimes he offers to run me a bath which is sweet (and also self beneficial for him). But then I get trapped in the bath for hours because getting out and getting dry is such a palaver. He also has to tell me to take my meds every night to which I mostly reply 'euugh leave me alone' rather than 'thank you for reminding me'.
Creep Dive is my go to shower motivator with my waterproof speaker btw!
Thank you for my new favorite word: “faff”. This is why hair has dried itself and been frizzy for the past thirty years.
Okay, I have a LOT to say about this (surprise), but I will just say the main thing - when your friend asked you and you couldn't come up with an answer? You already had it, it is because it IS such a HUGE palaver! Total! Faff! Executive dysfunction gals unite <3
Unsolicited advice part 1: Book a wax so you have to shower first (maybe a bit extreme?)
Unsolicited advice part 2: Just have the small shower (iykyk) x
Or summon limited energy to obtain and install bidet seat on toilet if possible. Reduces need to shower.
This may not be a good idea if sharing bidet seat bathroom with toilet obsessed little kids though...